What’s going on in my mind does not match the real world. The world thinks it’s Christmas Eve. So, we make it Christmas Eve for the children.
It always shocks and surprises me when someone asks what we’re doing for Christmas. Because it feels nothing like Christmas. I always want to say, ‘Oh, is Christmas coming?’ I hadn’t noticed.
Somehow I am able, and Cliff is, too, to completely compartmentalize the two separate realities. Our ‘Nightmare Before Christmas’ does not poison the sugarplums dancing in the children’s heads. That is a miracle and a blessing.
That we can give them a Christmas like any other is a gift we are grateful for beyond measure.
Because, while we are living in the horror, knowing that they are not gives us joy, hope, pride and a sense of accomplishment when we feel helpless about everything else.
Gorgeous Chase brings us a tray of her home-made reindeer cupcakes. The kids eat some and put one out for Santa.